Apologize
by We're All To Blame
Summary: Pip has a bad day at school and thinks of the worse way possible to fix it... Wow. I hope the story's better than the summary! R&R! ...Please?
1. Apologize

Apologize- narration

"Apologize"- dialogue

_Apologize_- sung lyrics

_**Apologize**_- thought lyrics

**Apologize**- other thoughts

Fourteen spitballs, three lugies to the eye, seven to the hair on his head, nine "Frenchies", and four "fart-boys". He sighed as he exited the school building, making his way through the mountains of snow only Colorado could bring.

**Just another normal day**_._

"See ya tomorrow, Frenchy!" The fattest kid in the class screamed at him across the courtyard. Eric Cartman. His friends giggled at his stupid un-orignal joke. Americans.

He tried calmly, "I'm _not_ French, I'm Brit-"

"Yeah whatever faggot." He interrupted. They all roared with laughter at his humor once again and sauntered off.

He missed one looking back apologetically.

"_Stupid_ Americans!" He fumed as he rushed home. "I hate this! They _aren't_ nice, they do _not_ effective advice, and I am done dealing with them!"

"Aw, look at poor little, Frenchy!" Another boy guffawed with his friends; O repitition, how you burn me! I looked over the boys, snickering and acting like fools, and felt my heart soar. There, in the middle of this group of gorrillas, stood _him_.

"D-Damien?" I gasped. Could he really be back? Perhaps we could just hang out together, or maybe we could play video games at my house, or-

My thoughts of friendship diminished when he glanced around his friends and answered my unspoken questions. "I don't hang around queers anymore, Pip." I heard only the sound of cruel mocking laughter, and feet not fleeing fast enough as I turned and ran from them. I felt as Caesar must have when Brutus stabbed him. Betrayed. Without reason, without the justice of a new day.

_**I'm holding on your rope;**_

_**Got me ten feet off the ground**_

_**I'm hearing what you say **_

_**But I just can't make a sound**_

"Pip! Pip, wait!" An all too familiar to me from behind.

"Yes, what is it _you_ want, Damien?"

"I'm not used to this but..." He trailed off, glaring to the sky, at God, the way he does every five minutes.

I rolled my eyes impatiently and asked (or, perhaps, more demanded), "_What?_"

"Well, I...uh...just wanted to say...um...that..." I started to walk away, hoping it would force him to stop wasting my time; it _was_ limited after all.

"I'm sorry!"

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"I'm sorry, Pip. I-I didn't want to ever hurt you, I mean, I _want_ to be friends with you, I just..."

"Just what, Damien? Just don't care about _our_ friendship enough to give two shits about me? Just want to fit in with your other "friends" and think that I'll forgive you just like that? You always had me right in the palm of your hand, but not anymore.

_You tell me that you need me _

_Then you go and cut me down_

_But wait_

_You tell me that you're sorry _

_Didn't think I'd turn around_

_And say_

_That it's too late to apologize,_

_It's too late._"

"I'm _sorry_, Pip!"

"_I said, it's too late to apologize _

_It's too late_."

With that last thought, I left Damien standing on the sidewalk as I rushed home once more. As I made it to my house, anger and depression at my school life raged war with my other emotions and took over. Furious, I ran into the kitchen and opened the knife drawer, picking up the biggest one I had seen.

Afterword, I entered the bathroom and brought out a pill bottle from the medicine cabinet.

I set all of my supplies on top of the bathroom sink as I began to fill the tub. I burst into song once more as I thought of _him_.

"_I'd take another chance_

_Take a fall, take a shot for you _

_And I need you like a heart needs a beat_

_But it's nothing new_

_I loved you with a fire red _

_Now it's turning blue _

_And you say_

_Sorry like the angel _

_Heaven let me think was you _

_But I'm afraid _

_That's it's too late too apologize_

_It's too late, too late_."

As I stepped into the burning fire-water and gathered my only "friends," I began to wonder about who would miss me if I did not go to school tomorrow.

Cartman and his friends? Hell _no_. My other classmates, spewing insults, pursuing random pranks throughout the day to remind me of my place? Wouldn't even notice; they'd only move on to Butters.

Butters. He might notice. Would he care? Perhaps. In fact, Butters would probably would- at first. Then he would want to be accepted and would probably treat my memory horridly, eventually forgetting we were ever friends. (A/N: Pip's so OOC right now, isn't he? Emo...)

Well. Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar!

No one would care. Slashes. Physical pain to march my emotional pains. A pill forced down my burning throat. Another one. Another...

My vision turns red as I descend into bloody water. One last escapes my lips as a dark abyss becomes my world. Bubbles bursting silently above me.

"_I'm holding on your rope; _

_Got me ten feet off the ground_."

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Wow...after writing that, I had to ask my friend Alexis for a cookie (really). I want to know what you think: was it too sad? Should I quit talking and let you review? Perhaps... Oh and you will find out who looked back apologetically in the next chapter. If you don't figure it out, I'll tell you. The song is "Apologize", Artist: OneRepublic.**

(1): (I said,it's...) For a few laughs in an otherwise emo story

(2): Sorry like the...) Sorry had to add the irony...


	2. Eva

A chill ran up my spine as I peered into his coffin. _He's dead_. I felt as though it was my somehow my fault. I looked for the reaction of my friends, and found it was not far from my own.

Stan and his super best friend (soon-to-be boyfriend if he listens to me) Kyle were talking quietly to each other, clearly shocked by recent events. Even Cartman was more subdued then he usually was, as if he knew it happened shortly after his daily teasing.

Everyone knew Cartman hated the Brit as much as he hated our favorite Jew friend; everyone did. In fact, there were only two people who left well enough alone when it came to Pip: Butters Stotch, and myself.

Pip was dead now, though, and everyone was responsible. The entire eleventh grade because they constantly teased, made fun of, and pulled pranks on him. Mackey for telling him to deal with it; it would resolve itself. The staff because they did not treat Pip like they did the rest of us. The South Park citizens, Butters and I for turning a blind eye to it as if it were nothing. We were all responsible.

I heard sniffling behind me and turned around. Butters moved up beside me and gazed at Pip's face. He was crying.

"He looks so peaceful, doesn't he?" He was almost choking now. Seeing how broken he was about it caused me to consider their friendship. I had _thought_ they were little more than acquaintances; exchanging friendly greetings, helping with homework from time to time. However, perhaps they were better friends then I thought.

His parents carried him away as the poor boy broke into shattered sobs. "How could he do it? _Why_ would he?"

Damien, the Anti-Christ, son of Satan, looked almost calm even though Pip was gone.

"**6:30 winter morn**

**Snow keeps falling silent dawn **

**A rose by any other name **

**Eva leaves her Swanbrook home."** I noticed him acknowledging my presence, so I continued my soft song.

"**Kindest heart which always made **

**Me ashamed of my own **

**She walks alone but not without her name."** As tears began to take leadership over his otherwise emotionless eyes, I wondered if he had understood whom I was singing of.

**Mocked by men to depths of shame**

**Little girl with life ahead **

For a memory One kind word

**She would stay among the beasts**

**Time for one more barren dream**

**Before her escape Eden beam**

**We kill her with her own loving heart." **

I glanced down at Pip's pale face once more, considering all the torment he had put himself through to gain a friend; for nothing.

**Eva flies away **

**Dreams the world far away **

**In this cruel children's game **

**There's no friend to call her name **

**Eva sails away **

**Dreams the world far away **

**The good in her**

**Will be my sunflower field."**

"I didn't realize…I didn't know it would come to this."

"What do you mean?"

I…may have said…some things." There, right there. Red flag; what things?

"What things?"

"I called him a…queer and…some other…stuff."

"You WHAT?!"

I just…I mean…" He trailed off, looking into Pip's new home.

"Why? How could you? I thought you two were friends?"

"We were! I mean, I thought he knew…I…" He stopped himself again, gazing once more at the serene face in the coffin.

He mumbled a lie from my own song. "We kill him his own loving heart."

We stood in silence for a time, until Damien cleared his throat. "If you could kindly excuse me, I must be going."

As he parted the earth and descended down, I looked back down at Pip's pale, cold face and thought about what Damien had done to Butters' friend. Pip was so young-too young to die.

No matter how long or what it took, I would make my amends to Pip by causing pain to the one who was supposed to be there for him.

True, I hadn't been his friend or stood up for him, but at least _I_ felt some _regret_ for it.

Yes, now all I needed was to find a way to die again without killing myself…

A/N: So here it is, the second chapter of the story! I didn't know ho to end it so…. Anyway please R&R so I know if you liked it or not (even flames are welcome with me)! And thanks to RisaShootingStar, i ain't stoopid and tazrr. for being my and I hope the grammar was a little better this time I ain't stoopid (I used my sister for my beta)!


	3. Judas

Great.

What. An. Idiot.

I can't _believe_ I was so _stupid_! Killing myself? Now I was in the very place I didn't _want_ to be in: Hell! I wasn't fucking Kenny McCormick; I didn't die and come back every time. I mean, next thing I know I mean, _come on_. Next thing I know I'll be face-to-face with-

Speak of the Devil-well, Anti-Christ.

I saw Damien coming down the stairs of Hell he had opened up for himself. I could look above him at my angle and the scene he had come from looked gloomy, however, I didn't give it a second thought as the "ground" above him closed. Besides, I had left that world. Its affairs were no longer any of _my_ business.

As was my usual luck, he spotted me almost immediately and walked up. He actually had the audacity to look surprised to see me.

"Pip? What are you doing here?" He questioned curiously.

Rage consumed me again, although I wasn't quite sure what it was about his question that irked me so.

"Well, let's see here, Damien. I guess it's because I KILLED MYSELF!"

The sheepish expression on his face almost made me ashamed of my actions. _Almost._

"Pip, I'm sorry…Why are you so angry at me and not any of the others who teased you?"

"I was angry with them, but _you_ were supposed to be different. You were supposed to be my friend!

**The only one who took you in **

**The only one who held your hand **

**Defended you against the others **

Had your back on everything

**Never let you down**

**You turned around **

**Betrayed your only brother."**

He opened his mouth to defend his actions. However, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction or opportunity.

"Forgetting me You took things in your hands

**And left me out**

**After we'd been through so much**

**How could you let me down? **

**Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh**

**Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh**

**Forgetting me**

**You took things in your hands **

**And left me out**

**After we'd, been through so much**

**How could you let me down?"**

To my own surprise, I felt hot water falling down my face. My first instinct was to find out where it was coming from, only to realize my own folly in this. I came to the conclusion that I had made myself cry.

"**Down**

**You let me down."**

I walked away from my former friend, leaving him to his own devices.


	4. What Hurts the Most

Damien sat under a tree next to Stark's Pond as he thought about what Pip had said to him only half an hour ago. The weather had been rapidly growing cloudier during that time, and now it was beginning to rain. He could no longer tell the difference of the water on his face…or the tears he'd been crying. However, he was too lost in his thoughts to notice.

"**I can take the rain**

**On the roof of this empty house**

**That don't bother me**

**I can take a few tears **

**Now and then and just let them out **

**I'm not afraid to cry **

**Every once in awhile**

**Even though going on with you gone**

**Still upsets me**

**There are days every now and again **

**I pretend I'm okay **

**But that's not what gets me."**

He felt so despondent, so distraught and all he could think about was Pip. He got up, and decided to walk around the town, hoping that whatever lives people were living, it would distract him from Pip.

"**It's hard to deal with the pain **

**Of losing you **

**Everywhere I go**

**But I'm doing it."**

He found Kenny McCormick was spending time with his new friend Butters Stotch at the Stotch residence.

"**It's hard to force that smile**

**When I see**

**Our old friends and I'm alone." **

Damien smiled, as a signal of truce and friendship; however, Kenny did _not_ return it. He turned to Butters saying something Damien could not hear and Butters got up and walked over to the window. Damien began to feel as if Butters may forgive him and felt his heart life lift against the rain and his heavy spirits. Then, Butters reached up and pulled the blinds closed.

Damien turned and walked away.

"**Still harder**

**Getting up**

**Getting dressed **

**Living with**

**This regret **

**But I know **

**If I could do it over **

**I would trade **

**Give away **

**All the words **

**That I saved**

**In my heart**

**That I left unspoken."**

As Damien walked around the town he began to see the love and warmth surrounding friends or loved ones. For once in his life he did not care who heard him, and he let out an anguished cry.

"**What hurts the most **

**Is being so close **

**And having so much to say **

**And watching you walk away**

**And never knowing **

**What could've been **

**Ad not seeing that loving you**

**Is what I was trying to do."**

For the second time that day, Damien opened the earth and descended into Hell once more. Now he could see why humans been frightened whenever his home was mentioned. He became more and more reluctant to go home as he realized Pip, his love and former friend, would be there ignoring Damien and not allowing him to feel sorry for his actions.


	5. Words I Couldn't Say

Damien sat on the bed in his room, staring at the ceiling, the walls, and the floor. He never tried to turn to the photograph that was overturned on his bedside table. It showed a scene frozen from years ago, a perfect time when all that was expected of Damien was to sit at a table, smile at his blond and destroy anyone who tried to come between them. Although those simple tasks had not changed and were still expected of him, for reasons wholly unknown to Damien, he could no longer perform them. He let out a deep, despondent sigh.

"**In a book, in a box, in the closet**

**In a line, in a song, I once heard."**

He closed his eyes, sweetly remembering a fond, yet anguishing memory that, like the picture, had visited quite often once he'd moved from South Park.

"**In a moment on a front porch late one June,**

**In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon.**

**There it was at the tip of my finger,**

**There it was on the tip of my tongue.**

**There you were and I had never been that far,**

**There it was, the whole wrapped inside my arms-**

**And I let it all slip away."**

Damien let out another frustrated sigh escape his lips as he saw his father speaking with his adorable Brit with the cockney accent. He collapsed onto his bed always, thoughts of his Pip drove him to tears.

"**There's a rain that will never stop falling, **

**There's a wall that I've tried to break down.**

**What I should've said just wouldn't pass my lips **

**So I held back and now we come to this, **

**And it's too late now."**

He glanced back out of the window in time to find Pip walking away from his father angrily. He turned toward the picture on the top of his table. He picked it up with a shaky hand and gazed upon the memory it held beneath the glass. Pip, delighted to have his photo taken, had an enormous grin on his face. Damien on the other hand, was using his left hand to give Pip fiery bunny ears (this hand consequently singed his hat, causing Damien to buy one that Pip had recently stopped wearing).

"**I should've found a way to tell you how I felt-**

**Now the only I'm telling is myself.**

**What do I do now that you're gone?**

**No back-up plan, no second chance,**

**And no one else to blame.**

**All I can hear in the silence that remains**

**Are the words I couldn't say."**

Damien suddenly jumped from his bed and burst through the room's doors. He ran out of the building, desperately looking for the angry former friend of his.

He would try to make things right again.


	6. Gravity

As Pip angrily stomped away from Satan, the ruler of Hell, he thought back on what Damien's father had said to him.

***FLASHBACK***

"_Give Damien a chance. I know that ha can be a little stupid and disconnected sometimes-"_

"_Stupid? Disconnected?" Pip interrupted. "He's an asshole." He instantly cringed at what he had said to the boy's father. "Well, I-I mean-"_

"_I know what you mean, young Pip. Let's be honest here: you mean he's an asshole." Pip blushed. "And you may be correct in saying that. However, he tends to act on impulse and he does a lot of things that he regrets later on. Perhaps, he just needs a little help from the right friend?"_

_Pip thought about what the Prince of Darkness was saying and about the friendship he and the Anti-Christ used to share-he did miss it. After a moment of consideration, a small smile had formed on his lips. Just as Satan was feeling as though he'd won, however, Pip's face abruptly fell. He remembered the interaction with Damien right before he killed himself and landed in Hell. He had _not_ looked like a friend; he had _not_ had an expression of friendship or even remorse at his words._

_His face illustrated dark scowls as he pushed himself up, saying a not-so-polite farewell, and away from Satan and thoughts of his son. _

***END OF FLASHBACK***

**Something always brings me back to you-**

**It never takes too long**

He couldn't deny that he _wanted_ to be Damien's friend; it was something that was always on his lonely mind.

**No matter what I say or do**

**I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone**

Pip missed Damien, to say he did not would be a huge lie on the young boy's part. Even as he became angry at what Satan had said, Pip knew it was because he wanted it to be true, wished it to be. He would never be free of the infuriatingly beautiful boy.

**You hold me without touch**

**You keep me without chains**

Especially now, Hell would be hell for Pip, who would subjected to the torture of Damien's presence for all eternity.

**I never wanted anything so much **

**Than to drown in your love,**

**And not feel your rain**

He wanted Damien, but knew that the heir to the dark throne of Hell was no good for a small Brit of former great expectations. Then he began to cry. Pip thought back on their first true meeting in South Park Elementary's cafeteria, and how on that day he'd thought that Damien had turned to Pip because, like the blond, he'd had no one else to turn to. But it had been selfish of Pip to believe someone could empathize how he felt after all those years of being alone. Damien had _preyed_ upon him; Pip had had no protection. And the blond had willingly fallen into the trap.

**You loved me 'cause I'm fragile**

**But I thought that I was strong **

**But you touch me for a little while **

**And all my fragile strength is gone**

On one hand, he wanted Damien, craved him more than he had ever wanted anyone or anything else-even Estella Havisham.

**I live here on my knees **

**As I try to make you see **

**That you're everything I think I need **

**Here on the ground**

On the other hand however, all he longed for since Damien had deserted him in the third grade, was peace from his Lucifer and all Pip's misery that he brought with him. He needed closure.

**You're neither friend nor foe **

**Though I can't seem to let you go**

**The one thing that I still know**

**Is that you're keeping me down**

Thoughts of Damien crept back into his mind like evil shadows-intangible and unceasing. Pip suddenly cried to Hell and all that would listen as the pain of being torn by wanting the one he loved, and getting as far away as possible became too much to bear.

"**Set me free, leave me be-**

**I don't want to fall another moment **

**Into your gravity. **

**Here I am, and I stand **

**So tall, just the way I supposed to be**

**But you're onto me, onto me, and all over…"**

Pip knew he would never be free no matter how much he burned for it; Damien was too familiar to him, too much a part of him. Even if he never saw the raven again physically, his face would be there every time Pip closed his eyes.

"**Something always brings me back to you,**

_**It never takes too long****…"** _


	7. I Told You So

**Suppose I called you up tonight **

**And told you that I loved you**

**And suppose I said I want to come back home**

**And suppose I cried and said **

**I think I've finally learned my lesson **

**And I'm tired of spending all my time alone**

Damien found Pip sitting on the ground and throwing rocks into one of the various lakes of fire. As if sensing his presence, the blonde turned around, glaring at the Anti-Christ. Damien took a breath and continued to serenade the thought of Pip. He only hoped Pip would understand what he was trying to say.

"**If I told you that I realize **

**You're all I ever wanted **

**And it's killing me to be so far away."**

Pip's eyes widened at the words he hadn't let Damien say. Would he finally forgive his faults or…

"**Would you tell me that you love me too**

**And would we cry together **

**Or would you simply laugh at me and say…"**

Damien closed his eyes and let the words he was scared of most flow from his lips.

"…**I told you so **

**Oh, I told you so**

**I told you someday you'd come crawling back**

**And asking me to take you in?**

**I told you so **

**But you had to go **

**Now I found somebody new**

**And you will never break my heart in two again."**

Pip only stared, astounded, as a desperate Damien knelt in front of him and pleaded with his eyes and hands.

"**If I got down on my knees **

**And told you I was yours forever **

**Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?"**

Damien smiled fondly as he continued.

"**Would we get that old-time feeling?**

**Would we laugh and talk for hours **

**The way we did when our love first began?"**

The grin saddened and slowly faded as he remembered where Pip and he were in their relationship and he was singing his lonely song. He went on:

"**Would you tell me that you've missed me too**

**And that you've been so lonely**

**And you've waited for the day that I'd return?**

**And we'd live love forever **

**And that I'm your one and only?**

**Or would you say the tables finally turned?"**

At this, he repeated the words he hated to hear so much.

"**Would you say I told you so **

**Oh, I told you so **

**I told you someday you'd come crawling back **

**And asking me to take you in **

**I told you so**

**But you had to go **

**Now I found somebody new **

**And you will never break my heart in two again."**

He looked up into Pip's eyes for the first time, and prayed to God's and Jesus and even the angels in heaven above that it wasn't true.

"**Now I found somebody new**

**And you will never break my heart in two again."**

Damien held a shaky breath as Pip allowed one out.


	8. Pieces

Pip let a sigh much like the one Damien had given only minutes ago.

"Damien…" He trailed off. Damien looked somewhere between hopeful and hopeless. After a moment of thinking, Pip finally opened his mouth, taking Damien's hands.

"**Since the moment that we met **

**My world was turned around, upside down**

**To some degree I still regret **

**My memory for keeping you around."**

Pip looked down upon the still-kneeling Damien, feeling a certain power of the fate of the relationship they shared-controlling whether or not to forgive.

"**Boy(1), I thought that you were mine**

**But my broken heart's been shattered one too many times.**

"**Someone let you down again **

**So you turn to me, your convenient friend."**

He was sure Damien could tell from watching Pip's face, that he was thinking back on how the various other friends Damien had made that had caused the raven to lose this one. He could also see that Damien was slipping further into desperation and despondency. However, like many times during the last few days, he simply felt numb and apathetic to Damien's pain.

"**Oh, but I know what you're doing **

**And what you hope to find;**

**I've seen it a thousand times."**

As he sang his next line, he gave a half-hearted smirk at the irony of who he was singing to.

"**Oh, the fire we had before **

**Is now just bitter ashes**

**Left scattered on the floor."**

He took his hands away from Damien. The Anti-Christ didn't put up a fight, fearful of what Pip would say, and hopeless and at a loss to what he could do about it.

"**And I don't want to see you anymore;**

**I'm just not that strong**

**I love it when you're here-"**

With Damien's once more hopeful face he knew he had to continue with his brutal bluntness.

"**-But I'm better when you're gone.**

"**I'm certain that I've given **

**And, oh, how you can take **

**There's no use in you looking,**

**There's nothing left for you to break**

"**Baby, please release me,**

**Let my heart rest in pieces."**

As tears began to trail down Pip's cheeks, Damien moved in to comfort him, but the broken-hearted cockney boy wouldn't allow it. Instead, he repeated forcefully:

"**Baby, please release me **

**We both know that you don't need me,**

**Let my heart rest in pieces.**

**Let it rest."**

When he had finished, he simply allowed Damien to remain there as he cold-heartedly walked away reminding himself once again of the third grade at Eric Cartman party. And again, he surprised even himself when he no longer cared about his bitterness and hatred for everyone around him. However, he was becoming more used to the strange feelings yet familiar feelings he was harboring as time went by.

* * *

Damien numbly got up from where he was and began to walk away in a daze. How badly had he hurt Pip? How could he prove to his beloved angel that he would no longer hurt- would he ever?

He realized now that there was only one person to help him now. As he walked across Hell, he only vaguely registered one Kenny McCormick arriving at the gate, looking around, and just as quickly hurrying away out of sight.

He _had_ to try again right? Pip had felt _some_ regret about what had between them- right? Pip's friendship and love mattered more to Damien than anything- his reputation for hatred, bringing about the Apocalypse, even his own immortal life. And now it was gone. This was something worth doing what needed to be done.

He could not let it end like this- and he _would_ not.

(1) Had to change that from the original because Dai-Dai's not a girl.

A/N: O.o


	9. How to Save a Life

Kenny wandered around Hell as quickly as he could- who knew how much time he would have before he went back Earth? He made a mental note to apologize to Butters-he didn't need to see Kenny walk in front of that train, but Kenny had been selfish and didn't want to die alone.

He must've asked a dozen demons and thousands of damned souls before he found Satan's place- it was _always_ on the move. If anyone did, Satan should know where Pip was.

Kenny rang the doorbell, rolling his eyes as its screams and wails filled the area_. Really? Satan _said_ he was going to fix that…_

Satan opened the door and, upon seeing who it was, smiled at his young friend and beckoned him inside.

* * *

Kenny found Pip's dorm in Satan's house…palace…castle…thing, and knocked on the door.

When the British blonde opened the door he began to close it once he saw who it was, but Kenny plugged the door with his foot, preventing him from doing so.

"Pip, I just need to talk to you."

"Yeah?" The outcast said, his glare and accent becoming strong with each second." Well, I'm not interested in what you have to say, McCormick."

Kenny winced; the way Pip had said his name, it sounded like an insult. "Pip, come on. I'm on your side; I want to help you!"

Pip's force on the door lessened but didn't cease completely. "Why would you, McCormick? Since when have you cared?" He asked untrusting of the American.

"Since I realized how much of a jerk- including myself- everyone has been to you. Take Damien for example.

**Step one: you say, "we need to talk." **

**He walks; you say, "sit down; it's just a talk."**

**He smiles politely back at you **

**You stare politely right on through."**

Kenny recalled Pip's solution to it all and it saddened him that he wasn't able to help Butters' only friend at the time.

"**Some sort of window to your right **

**As he goes left and you stay right **

**Between the lines of fear and blame **

**You begin to wonder why you came **

**Where did I go wrong; I lost a friend**

**Somewhere along in the bitterness **

**And I could've stayed up with you all night **

**Had I known how to save a life."**

Pip had to force his expression to become annoyed once more- good sign. "If you want to help so much what the hell do you think I should do, huh?" Kenny grinned as he continued.

"**Let him know that you know best,**

'**Cause after all you do know best. **

**Try to slip past his defense **

**Without granting innocence.**

**Lay down a list of what is wrong; **

**Things you told him all along.**

**And pray to God he hears you, **

**And pray to God he hears you."**

Pip cocked his head to the side, considering the different possibilities of what Kenny might mean.

"As he begins to raise his voice,

You lower yours and grant him one last choice.

Drive 'til you lose the road

And break with the ones who follow.

He will do one of two things:

He will admit to everything,

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came."

"I have to think about it…" Pip said before hurrying away. Kenny watching him until he rounded behind a flaming meteor.

"Where did I go wrong; I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness.

And I could've stayed up with you all night,

Had I known how to save a life."

Pip started toward the poverty-stricken South Park native and Kenny knew that he would hear Pip's answer to his proposal in a few moments. In only a few moments he would regain Butters' innocent trust…

A/N: Did you see how many times Kenny referred to Butters? I guess even people with the best of intentions have ulterior motives…

O.o


	10. Stand

Pip sighed. "I can't, McCormick."

He could see Kenny's face fall. Kenny looked at him and stated simply, "You can do it, Pip. Do you honestly think Damien's not foolish enough to make a mistake?"

"I'm not good at everything, though. What if he sees right through me?" Pip asked despairingly.

"**You feel like a candle**

**In a hurricane,**

**Just like a picture **

**With a broken frame.**

**Alone and helpless **

**Like you've lost your fight, **

**But you'll be all right,**

**You'll be all right."**

Again, Pip tried to shut down and push Kenny away, but Cartman's closet thing to a best friend wouldn't let that happen. _Not this time._

"**Life's like a novel **

**With the end ripped out,**

**The edge a canyon **

**With only one way down. **

**Take what you're given **

**Before it's gone **

**And start holding on, **

**Keep holding on."**

This time Pip was going to learn how to be aggressive. This time Kenny wouldn't allow the pacifist to be pushed around. This was Pip's turn to stand up for himself.

"'**Cause when push comes to shove**

**You taste what you're made of.**

**You might bend 'til you break**

"**Cause it's all you can take.**

**On your knees you look up**

**Decide you've had enough **

**You get mad, you get strong,**

**Wipe your hands, shake it off-**

**Then you stand."**

Kenny pushed Pip's lowered chin up, and forced him to look into his eyes.

"**Every time you get up **

**And get back in the race**

**One more small piece of you **

**Starts to fall into place."**

Pip began to give a small smile and sang along with Kenny's song, making the American believe that perhaps this was possible.

"'**Cause when push comes to shove **

**You (I) taste what you're (I'm) made of**

**You (I) get mad, you (I) get strong,**

**Wipe your (my) hands, shake it off **

**Then you (I) stand."**

"What should we do?" Pip asked. So he and Kenny spent time working out a plan for the unfortunate Anti-Christ.

This would be fun.

A/N: Wow, could I have written a cheesier ending to the song? XD


	11. Angel

Pip watched Kenny walk away to find Damien after they had constructed the scheme together against the raven. Pip still wasn't sure he agreed with Kenny's level of confidence in him, but he felt exhilaration at the thought of finally doing something for himself- even if it was with the help of someone else.

Kenny's form disappeared on the trial to the lakes of fire.

"**I've said it once and I'll say again: **

**I've got something hanging over my head. **

**I was laying on your shoulder perfectly content**

**Until you told me all over again.**

**I ain't got no sob story to write **

**But just like everyone else I'm living this life." **

**He thought back on how strange and frustrating Kenny and Damien were acting lately: caring about Pip was out of character for the both of them.**

"**And you don't need to win me over **

**And there ain't no other side **

**To shelter me from; I belong where I decide."**

***FLASHBACK***

Pip lay back as his friend Damien sat beside him, leaning against the log at Stark's Pond. The eight-year-old spoke without turning to face the raven.

"It sure is a gloomy day isn't it, Damien?" Damien glanced up at the sky, saw the sun shining dimly from beneath a thin layer of clouds, and replied, "I suppose…" The raven glanced at the Brit with never-ending onyx eyes.

"Pip?"

"Hmm?" The blond mused with his eyes closed.

"I wanted to kill Cartman today." For a kid who usually had anger problems, Damien had said this calmly.

Pip's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"I wanted to kill Cartman." Damien repeated, more amused this time.

"Yes, Damien, I heard you the first time." The British boy huffed. "But why…besides _obvious_ reasons; what did he do?"

"Because he was pissing me off." Damien said bluntly. "But of course I didn't.' He stated, cutting Pip off before he could speak. "In fact," he continued, "I didn't do anything."

"This caught Pip's rapt attention. "Why not?" He asked, confused. This was a kid who did not hesitate to burn and kill.

Damien had an almost unnoticeable flush to his cheeks now. "Oh, I remembered a little angel's advice on leaving well enough alone. I also thought about what he would say if I got suspended or expelled over something stupid." He said sincerely.

***END OF FLASHBACK***

Pip's scowl darkened.

"**Well I suppose you think I'm so flattered to hear**

**That I'm the whispered conscious in your ear.**

**And that's exactly the reason that I'll never fit in here.**

**But nothing's ever that black and white, my dear.**

**No, 'cause you say we don't mess around,**

**You've got no freedom to come down;**

**We don't take angels from the sky. **

**We don't mess around,**

**You're meant to be among the clouds **

'**Cause your angel, but that's a lie."**

Pip smirked an evil grin that Saddam Hussein would've shrunk away from, at the thought of his revenge.

"**I'm not your angel, darling,**

**I'm not your angel, darling;**

**I'm never gonna be."**


	12. To Make Her Love Me

As Kenny and Pip planned devious schemes, an oblivious Damien sullenly walked through the gates of Hell. He took the road his own father had taken only a few times before- once when he was banished, and a round-trip for advice. The stairway was torture for the young heir of Darkness. Instead of the screams and cries of the damned fading behind him, the soft and famous Angel Chorus could be heard murmuring sweet hymns. Actually inspired by the tunes, he began to sing a song of love on his own.

"**You waved your hand and it was done **

**Said 'let it be!' and there it was."**

As he reached the pearly Gates, he was bombarded by the sounds of the goody-goody Mormons as they invited and pressed him into joining their various heavenly activities. Damien had to stop himself from punching and slapping the parasitic creatures into a pulp of Bloody Putty, something he used to play with as a child. Instead, he politely and quietly declined through gritted teeth.

"No thank you." He smiled (sneered possibly?) as best as he could while his hands tingled with the hellfire he was struggling to control.

"Are you sure?" They happily asked with their creepy, happy smiles in tact. "Because we were going to-"

"I'm quite sure." The Anti-Christ interrupted curtly. As he walked away from their flocked group, he found himself looking down upon the earth and understood why his father had wanted control over the Upperworld.

"**A mountain so high **

**It broke through the sky,**

**A canyon so deep **

**It'd bring a man to his knees." **

Somehow (perhaps because he was gazing upon England and America) he once more began thinking of Pip and his low chances. Even though Pip, his little blond angel, may not have it in his heart to forgive the raven, Damien knew there was one who might be able to help him if he didn't hate Damien as well.

"**I've seen what you can do-**

**I've seen you make you make miracles **

**And hopeless dreams come true.**

"**You made the heavens and the stars **

**Everything, come on hard **

**Could it be to make [him] love me."**

Nearing the sacred place where he knew he would meet his sworn enemy's father, he remembered why Pip was so angry with him in the first place. Everything he did, everything he said came flooding back and almost forced him to turn away and forget about the love and forgiveness he didn't deserve- but still, for reasons unknown, he pressed on. Even if Pip deserved flesh blood, or even a soul who knew humans emotions better than he did (being human for only few days while father cleaned people of their cash in bet money), he knew he had try.

"**Said some things I shouldn't have **

**Tried everything to win [him] back **

**I [was] human, I messed up**

**Is [he] gone, are we done? **

"**Forgiveness, another chance **

**That's all I want, it's in your hands."**

Finally he reached his destination and the One who was waiting for him, who always knew when things would take place. Damien a breath, and although he knew God knew what it was the child wanted to say, he professed his heartfelt words again.

"**I've seen what you can do- **

**I've seen you make miracles **

**And hopeless dreams come true,**

**You made the heavens and the stars**

**Everything, come on how hard **

**Could it be to make [him] love me?"**

The Lord sighed and placed a gentle hand on Damien's shoulder.

* * *

"So you see, son, I think you'll find that you'll get what's coming to you." He told Damien.

"Thank you." The sixteen-year-old genuinely beamed. "Thank you for everything!"

God watched as the child scampered away (as children do, even one such as Damien), and sighed because He knew what Pip and Kenny had in store for the young Anti-Christ and knew what would come out of it. But then, He knew everything, and everything always happened for a reason.


	13. Yes I Do

Pip was sitting with Kenny, going over the details in the plan when Damien crept up nervously. The blond Englishman rolled his eyes and coldly asked, "What do you want?" Damien closed his eyes and lowered his head; the last time he'd heard Pip utter that question, the blue-eyed blond had ended his own life.

Kenny discreetly nudged Pip rudely in the ribs, unnoticed by the raven in front of them. Pip heaved a sigh and looked at the only raven in the group. He lifted the Dark Angel's face and began to sing to the ebony-eyed boy.

"**Do I cry in the night?  
Do I long to hold you tight?**

**Do ****I wake wanting you?**

…**Yes I do.**

**Do I recall every**** day **

**How you took my breath away?**

**Do ****I remember loving you?**

…**Yes I do.****" **

Pip tried to ignore the feeling of his heart skipping a beat as Damien formed a small hopeful smile onto his face. It was time to see just how much he could play with someone else's emotions on the line this time.

"**I don't live in the past**

**Wanting love ****that wouldn't last **

**And I don****'t ache like use to-"**

At Damien's face and smile fall, Pip laughed as he lifted it once more and sang, "-yes I do."

"**Yes I do dream **

**Of all we had together.****"**

Pip feigned sadness for the next line and hoped Damien wouldn't see through it-

"**Yes it's true we **

**Lost it all forever.****" **

-but, of course, he didn't.

"**Do I pray anyway?**

…**yes I do.****" **

Pip and Kenny waited anxiously for Damien's reaction- their plan depended on it. Finally, it seemed as though Damien would speak.


	14. Amazed

For days after Pip confessed, Damien still felt on air- and it showed. Flames burned brighter, damned souls went without being tormented so often, and of course, Hell's young heir smiled at every face he happened across and walked everywhere with a spring in his step.

**Every time our eyes meet **

**This feeling inside me**

**Is almost more than I can take**

Everything Pip would do, anything he could try only prevented Damien from crashing back to the ground. The days they spent walking around Hell's many paths, the Anti-Christ giving the blushing Englishman a true and romantic tour of home (well, as romantic as you can be in Hell's deep inferno). The nights between them were spent snuggling and cuddling in Damien's room (nothing happened, perverts!) talking about past present events, and wonderment at what the future might hold for them.

**Baby, when you touch me**

**I can feel how much you love me **

**It just blows me away**

Being trapped and damned in Hell for eternity didn't matter to Damien because right now, wrapped in Pip's love, he was in Heaven and always would be.

**I've never been this close to anyone or anything **

**I can hear your thoughts I can see your dreams**

On those nights they were together Pip intoxicated every one of Damien's senses. Taste, touch, smell, vision and hearing. They were all intrigued by the blond lying next to them.

**The smell of your skin**

**The taste of your kiss **

**The way you whisper in the dark **

**Your hair all around me**

**Baby, you surround me **

**You touch every place in my heart **

Damien couldn't deny it any longer, to himself, or to Pip. He didn't want Pip's friendship anymore.

**Oh, it feels like the first time, every time**

**Want to spend the whole night in your eyes**

Damien Thorne, Hell's fallen archangel, the Bringer of Chaos and Despair, was in love with Phillip "Pip" Pirrip.

**I don't know how you do what you do **

**I'm so in love with you**

**It just keeps getting better **

**I want to spend the rest of my life**

**With you by my side **

**Forever and ever **

**Every little thing that you do **

**Baby, I'm amazed by you**

"Pip." Damien breathed, gently catching the Brit's attention. When Pip's deep blue eyes rose to meet Damien's black ones, the Anti-Christ continued.

"**Every little thing that you do,**

**I'm so in love with you;**

**It just keeps getting better."**

At Pip's shocked expression, Damien chuckled and nuzzled Pip's face with his own, returning to his "Ode to Pip."

"**I want to spend the rest of my life**

**With you by my side **

**Forever and ever."**

Pip sighed contently and Damien allowed him to cuddle closer, missing the self-satisfied smirk playing on the blond's face. Both drifting off to sleep Damien whispered whole-heartedly, **"every little thing that you do; baby, I'm amazed by you."**


	15. Stop and Stare Pt 1

Three weeks went by before Kenny, who had once again been reincarnated and back on Earth, returned to Hell to see how the blond avenger was doing. While on Earth, he had visited and apologized to one Butters Stotch for making him watch the McCormick die. Butters had forgiven him like Kenny figured he would, and had given him a mug of hot chocolate. Once back in Hell, Kenny noticed Pip had not succeeding in getting any further than making Damien fall for him. Three weeks and Pip was only gallivanting around and pissing away time.

**This town is colder now**

**I think it's sick of us**

**It's time to make our move**

**I'm shaking off the rust**

He had given Pip another chance to show Damien that he wasn't the fool, and the Brit was BLOWING IT! Kenny wasn't staying just to help Pip along in the plan.

**I got my heart set**

**On anywhere but here**

**I'm staring down myself,**

**Counting up the years**

**Steady hands just take the wheel**

**Every glance is killing me**

**Time to make one last appeal**

**For the life I lead**

However, watching Pip and Damien together, he knew he had to something. He thought he'd taught the Englishman better than that. Time to move it up a notch.

**Stop and stare**

**I think I'm moving but I go nowhere**

**Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared**

**But I'll become what I can't be**

Through the years Pip had wondered why no one except Butters accepted and respected him. Pip wanted to get back at Damien and Kenny knew the British blonde would have to strike the Anti-Christ's heart fast, mercilessly and play dirty if he was to have a chance.

**Oh, stop and stare**

**You start to wonder why you're here and there**

**And you'd give anything to get what's fair**

**But fair ain't what you really need**

Kenny looked up and noticed the couple on his mind sitting by a lake of fire, cuddled together.

"**Oh, can you see what I see?"**

Across the way, Pip sat with his boyfriend of less than a month and thought back on the plan. He glanced up at Damien's face and almost giggled with excitement. Once his scheme was fulfilled with Kenny, Damien would learn the hard way how it felt when you couldn't trust the one you loved most.

**They're trying to come back**

**All my senses push**

**And tie the weight back**

**I never thought I could**

Sudden adrenaline filled his system and he could feel his endorphins rushing as confidence built inside him.

**Steady feet don't fail me now**

**I'm gonna run 'til you can't walk**

Damien shifted face Pip who looked up in confusion. Damien opened his mouth to speak, cleared his throat instead and shoved a red and black box into Pip's lap. The Brit had a suspicion he knew what it was before his trembling hands opened it. Inside lay a cool, silver ring with a blue jewel to match the shade of his eyes.

When he looked up at Damien, the raven explained with a blush coloring his cheeks. "It's a promise ring, Pippers. To show you that I'll never hurt you again."

To say Pip was shocked and speechless was an understatement of dramatic differences, so he silently allowed Damien to pull him back into his arms.

**Something pulls my focus out**

**And I'm standing down**

**Stop and stare**

**I think I'm moving but I go nowhere**

**Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared**

**But I'll become what I can't be**

He thought back on his school days and Cartman with his friends, classmates, teachers, and various people on the street.

**Oh, stop and stare**

**You start to wonder why you're here not there**

**And you'd give anything to get what's fair…**

But as much as he tried to remember those who had caused him to get this way in the first place, the same smiling faces kept appearing to him: Butters, Kenny…and Damien. He looked up to find the Anti-Christ currently staring into the distance and smiling to himself.

…**But fair ain't what you really need**

And Pip found himself smiling too.

You don't need 


	16. A Beautiful Lie

As Pip and Damien kissed and Damien walked away, Kenny saw him chance to speak with Pip alone. Quickly stepping toward him while Damien was rounding a corner, he grabbed Pip's arm (much to the protest of the other blonde) and dragged him into a dark and secluded spot.

"What are you doing?" The poor American hissed.

Pip huffed. "I _thought_ I was acting on the plan _you_ came up with!" The Englishman snapped.

"I was gone for three weeks and the only thing you've seemed to accomplish is making kissy faces and goo-goo eyes at the one whose heart you're supposed to break!" Kenny shot.

"I-I don't think I want to do this anymore, Kenny. He seems to truly feel sorry about what happened and genuinely cares for me. And you know what? I think I care for him too."

"No you don't-you've only strayed too far into your character. Don't forget why you started this in the first place.

"**Lie awake in bed at night**

**And think about your life;**

**Do you want to be different?**

"**Try to let go of the truth,**

**The battles of your youth,**

'**Cause this is just a game."**

Kenny lifted Pip's face when the Brit turned his head and refused to look at him.

"**It's a beautiful lie**

**It's a perfect denial**

**It's a beautiful lie to believe in**

**It's a beautiful, beautiful lie."**

"**That makes me."**

Pip forced his face away once more as Kenny told him, "Look, Pip, you know as well as I do that the last time you trusted Damien to sincerely care about you, he sent demons out of Hell to rape and humiliate you to make a couple of quick friends."

Pip furtively refused to meet the American's gaze, knowing he was right. He snapped, "I know Kenny."

"I want you to break it off before the next two days are over." At Pip's startled and angry expression, Kenny repeated assertively, "the next two days, Pip."

"Fine."

* * *

Damien walked the same path he had three weeks ago. He was his way to thank the Lord for granting his despondent prayer. On the way, he noticed his archrival Jesus Christ walking toward him.

"Hey." Damien greeted pleasantly (for once).

"Hey, we need to talk." Jesus stated somewhat in a business tone.

Damien smiled, trying to hide his confusion. "Alright." They walked in the opposite direction of Heaven. Once they reached a place Jesus had deemed appropriate for a private conversation, the younger of the two asked. "So what is this about?"

The Savior of mankind sighed heavily and told to a confused raven what his boyfriend and Kenny were truly after. Damien had seemed distraught at first, but as Jesus had continued, his face became void of emotion and impossible to read. Once Jesus was finished with his story, he sang,

"**It's time to forget about the past,**

**To wash away what happened last."**

Damien finished, **"Hide behind an empty face,**

**But I'm still much the same**

'**Cause this is just a game.**

**It's a beautiful lie**

**It's a perfect denial**

**It's a beautiful lie to believe in**

**It's a beautiful, beautiful lie that makes me."**

Jesus sighed again and said, "Give him a chance to come clean to you. See what he does instead of confronting and scaring the child."

"Of course," Damien stated blankly. With a little more than an empty farewell, he turned and left the Lamb of God to wonder just how hard his news hit the young heir.

* * *

It seemed as though everyone was looking to Pip to fulfill their wildest dreams and the Brit was beginning to feel the stress.

"**Everyone's looking at me**

**I'm running around in circles, baby."**

The only thing Pip was sure of anymore was the fact that he no longer wanted anything to do with Damien's destruction-and that it was too late to do anything. Either way, letting Damien know or not, would break the Anti-Christ's heart, something Pip wasn't sure he wanted to see.

"**A quiet desperation's building higher-**

**I've got to remember this is just a game."**

The three boys-Kenny, Damien, and Pip-unknowingly began to sing at the same time in three different places.

Damien repeated, **"So beautiful, beautiful….**

**So beautiful, beautiful…."**

As Kenny sang, **"It's a beautiful…."**

And Pip echoed with, **"It's a lie….**

**It's a lie…"**

All together they cried, **"It's a beautiful lie**

**It's a perfect denial**

**Such a beautiful lie to believe in**

**It's a beautiful, beautiful lie that makes me."**


	17. I Know the Truth Pt 1

Damien finally arrived back home thinking on Jesus' words and what that meant about his boyfriend, Pip. Then, he spotted said boyfriend looking around for someone.

'_Probably for McCormick to secure their evil little con.'_ He thought bitterly, instantly saddened that he had hurt Pip so much, that he had caused the blond to want to deceive, hurt, and humiliate someone else.

**How have I come to this?**

**How did I slip and fall?  
How did I throw half a lifetime away **

**Without any thought at all?**

He had thought Pip truly loved him, but now his eyes were open to the lies and fairytales now.

**This should have been my time**

**It's over, it never began**

**I closed my eyes to so much, for so long**

**And I no longer can**

Of course Pip, Kenny, Butters-everyone, all of his misery he was feeling right now was apart of fate-karmic experiences he could only blame on himself.

"**I tried to blame it on fortunate**

**Some kind of twist in a star,**

**But I know the truth and it haunts me**

**It's flown just a little too far."**

Damien thought on the good things that happened before and after he left Pip for Hell, and the way he treated Pip _when_ he left.

"**I know the truth and it mocks me,**

**I know the truth and it shocks me**

**It's flown just a little too far."**


	18. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

Pip went into his room trying-and failing-to find Kenny for fifteen minutes. He walked over to his mirror and could almost see the evil he had become. Perhaps on a whim he began to sing.

"**Show me how to lie,**

**You're getting better all the time**

**And turning all against the one**

**Is an art that's hard to teach.**

"**Another clever word**

**Sets off an unsuspecting hurt,**

**And as you step back into line,**

**A mob jumps to their feet."**

He thought back to the scheme with Kenny and thought about what that meant for himself and Damien. Could he really just walk away after breaking his heart as if it meant nothing? And what of the demons and damned souls-would they not stand up for their leader's only heir? Even if he could be nonchalant after he ended things with Damien, he wouldn't be able to stand against a legion of demonic souls. Frustrated, he grabbed his own hair by the roots.

"**Now dance, fucker, dance**

**Man, he never had a chance**

**And no one even knew**

**It was really only you."**

He turned his glare from the innocent floor back to the hateful reflection in the mirror.

"**And now you steal away,**

**Take him out today.**

**Nice work you did;**

**You're gonna go far, kid."**

He knew he had to complete his "mission" of sorts though; had to teach Damien a lesson in "what goes around, comes around." Suddenly it seemed as though his "evil side" began to speak back to him.

'_**Slowly out of line**_

_**And drifting closer in your sights,**_

_**So play it out I'm wide awake;**_

_**It's a scene about me.'**_

Almost against his will, he felt a maniacal grin spread about his face.

'_**There's something in your way**_

_**And now someone is gonna pay**_

_**And if you can't get what you want,**_

_**Well, it's all because of me.**_

'_Face it Pippers,'_ he taunted himself, _'You need me; if you let it go now, who's to say when people will stop pushing you around and letting you down? Especially the one you've tried to protect most. Let's do it-together._

'_**Now dance, fucker, dance**_

_**Man, he never had a chance**_

_**And no one even knew**_

_**It was really only you**_

'_**And now you'll lead the way,**_

_**Show the light of day**_

_**Nice work you did,**_

_**You're gonna go far, kid!**_

_**Trust, deceived!'**_

Pip was fighting valiantly between the revenge he so desperately desired, and the morals instilled into him from the time he was a child.

"_**Now dance, fucker, dance**_

_**He never had a chance."**_

'_**And no one even knew**_

_**It was really only you.**_

_**So dance, fucker, dance.'**_

"**I never had a chance-**

**It was really only you.**

**With a thousand lies**

**And a good disguise:**

**Hit 'em right between the eyes**

**Hit 'em right between the eyes-"**

'_**When you walk away,**_

_**Nothing more to say,**_

_**See the lightning in your eyes,**_

_**See 'em running for their lives.**_

_**Clever alibis,**_

_**Lord of the Flies.**_

_**Hit 'em right between the eyes,**_

_**Hit 'em right between the eyes.**_

_**When you walk away,**_

_**Nothing more to say,**_

_**See the lightning in your eyes,**_

_**See 'em running for their lives.'**_

Pip knew what he had to do. He sprinted for the door and opened it, only to find the one and only Kenny McCormick standing there, having listened to everything that happened.


	19. Stop and Stare Pt 2

Damien continued what his dad liked to refer to as a "thought walk," circling the grounds of Hell quite a few times. He finally came to rest viewing Pip's room once more. He had arrived just in time to witness Kenny enter to converse with Damien's boyfriend.

**Stop and stare**

**I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.**

Jesus hadn't needed to tell him not to confront Pip and allow him the choice of betraying Damien or not. The truth was, the Anti-Christ was scared of the truth. Now was the time, however, to lay that all aside. If Pip did complete his plan, then he would do his best to wipe his hands of it and remember the good things. After all, as the humans said, there was no use crying over spilled milk, right?

"**Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared **

**But I'll become what I can't be**

**Oh, do you see what I see?"**

He decided to test if Pip was really true or not. He walked over to the plank of wood separating him from the Cockney blonde, and left only a note.

He'd see where Pip's heart truly lay.


	20. Rinse

**She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes**

"Where are you going, Pip?" Kenny asked, seeing the resolved look in the Brit's eyes.

**She would suffer, she would fight and compromise**

Pip looked nervous for a moment, unsure of what to say, and then his eyes took on an expression of determination once more. "I'm going to see Damien. I'm going to tell him what's going on."

**She's been wishing on the stars to shine so bright**

"Do you really believe he'll accept you so easily after you tell him of your betrayal?"

"I-if he loves me, he'll forgive me." But Pip no longer seemed as convinced.

**For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight**

**How she'd be soothed**

**How she'd be saved if she could see**

Kenny sighed and placed a hand on Pip's shoulder, coming fully inside and closing the door. "Let me tell you about a friend of mine, Pip. You see, she fell in love with someone too, someone who didn't love her back. Yet all she could see was the past they shared. She doesn't eat or sleep-she only thinks of him.

"**She needs to be held in**

**His arms to be free**

"**But everything happens for reasons**

**That she will never understand,**

'**Til she knows that the heart of a woman**

**Will never be found in the arms of a man.**

"And I told her the same thing I told you; get him back." As Pip's eyes widened, Kenny continued, "and she wanted to choose the same path you want to now, Pip."

"**She must rinse this all away**

**She can't hold anybody this way**

**She must rinse this all away**

**She can't love him…**

"**And as she runs away**

**She fears she might be followed**

**What could be worse than leaving something behind?**

**And as the depths of oceans**

**Slowly become shallow**

**It's loneliness she finds."**

Pip looked to the floor rather than his partner in crime. Again Kenny sighed. "Don't you see, Pip? She's you. You need to end this." Pip pushed his new friend's hands away from him and ran out the door.

"**If only he were mine!"**

Kenny watched Pip run to find his hellboy boyfriend.

"**She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes.**

**She would suffer, she would fight and compromise.**

**She's been wishing on the stars to that shine so bright**

**For answers that will haunt her tonight."**

Kenny remembered Butter's words to him about the Stotch's plan with Pip on Damien.

"**He must rinse him**

**He can't rinse him."**

Kenny agreed with Butters of course and he wanted to help both of their friend. However, with Pip developing a mind _against_ the plan, he knew it could be a problem.

"**He can't, he won't, he must rinse him.**

**He must rinse this all away**

**He can't hold anybody this way**

**He must rinse this all away**

**He can't love him this way."**


	21. Russian Roulette

Pip wandered around trying to gather his thoughts and decide what he wanted to do: stand by Damien, or follow through with what Kenny thought was best. He sighed.

**Take a breath, take it deep**

**Calm yourself he says to me**

**If you play, you play for keeps**

**Take the gun and count to three**

The heartbreaker scheme was becoming more like a game of Russian Roulette and Pip could no longer determine whether or not it was Damien or himself who was standing on the losing end.

**Steady now, moving slow**

**No time to think, my turn to go**

"**And you can see my heart beating**

**You can see it through my chest**

**That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving**

**Know that I must pass this test**

**So just pull the trigger."**

Remembering his talk with Kenny only a few minutes before, Pip sang,

" '**Say a prayer to yourself**

**He says close your eyes, sometimes it helps'**

**Then I get a scary thought:**

**That he's here means he's never lost."**

He knew that when it came to manipulating other people, Kenny McCormick was second best-runner-up to Eric Cartman. But he didn't want to be a part of this anymore.

"**And you can see my heart beating**

**You can see it through my chest**

**That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving**

**Know that I must pass this test**

**So just pull the trigger!"**

And what if he close to side with Kenny? What would happen to his own heart when he broke Damien's? The dates and days they shared, the moments and the friendship they'd known-what would happen to them? Would they dissipate into nothingness afterward-into something _less_ than the faintest memories? He realized, though, that he had to tell Damien about the plan because he had lied and deceived him-Damien at least deserved the truth.

"**As my life flashes before my eyes,**

**I'm wondering, 'Will I ever see another sunrise?'**

**So many won't get the chance to say goodbye**

**But it's too late to think of the value of my life.**

**And you can see my heart beating**

**You can see it through my chest**

**That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, no,**

**Know that I must pass this test….**

**And you can see my heart beating**

**You can see it through my chest**

**That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving**

**Know that I must pass this test**

**So just pull the trigger."**

At that moment Pip caught sight of his boyfriend and came to a decision for the second time in half an hour. He and Damien approached one another and Pip took a breath.

"Damien, we need to talk."


	22. Division

The two lovers walked into the young Antichrist's room, the boy in question sitting on the centered bed and motioning to be joined in the activity. The other refused, choosing instead to stand in front of the only mirror in the hellish space.

"What did you want to talk about, Pippers?" Damien asked, an unintended harsh tone escaping his otherwise disinterestedly curious demeanor.

Pip felt his heart skip two beats as it leapt into his throat; he took a deep breath and began shakily.

"Damien, why are you doing this?"

The raven reared slightly, taken aback in shock over Pip's words and their tone; it took a lot to get Pip pissed. "W-what?" He spluttered, trying to regain his composure; he'd known this would happen, but he had hoped it wouldn't be this soon.

"You heard me, Damien." Pip said rather harshly. "Why. Are. You. Doing. This?" He hissed, taking care to enunciate each word as though he were talking to either an incredibly small, or incredibly gifted, child.

"Why are you pretending this," he began to gesture wildly between the two of them, "could work? Why did you pursue a relationship with me, Phillip Pirrip of South Park 's _Great Expectations_, when you've never truly been nice to me unless it was what _you_ needed at the time? Why would you do that to me; _how_ could you?"

"I-I-" Damien started, but Pip cut him off.

"**You chose to surrender the best thing that's happened to you.  
****What were you missing?  
****Were you just tripping?"**

Pip sang the song about to render his young love's heart useless, he found increasingly new vigor as he remembered the raven's ways treating him horribly when wanting to make friends at the top of the food chain.

"**Running away from your fears was the best you could do;  
****You made this decision,  
****You chose our division."**

And so, even as he gazed into the hurt expression Damien's eyes were transmitting to his own, he continued to press on, praying to any god still willing that his own doubts and feelings wouldn't betray him and do the same.

"**And I have no regrets;  
****I wish you the very best  
****In all that you do.**

**Congratulations: now you are free,  
****You have earned your degree  
****And you've graduated;  
****This is your last separation from me."**

Pip could almost feel his own heart breaking as the Antichrist's face crumpled in hopelessness and unspoken agony. He tried to tell his lover that everything he had just now spoken had only been a cruel joke; something that should never have been said or taken seriously.

All that came out, however, were the words the blond vaguely recalled Kenny telling him about the raven in front of him now, weeks ago:

"**There'll be no more trying, no more coming back,  
****No more forgiving you, no more thinking that  
****Somehow the sum will be different by using division."**

Pip looked into Damien's Seeing Glass, a mirror that showed one the Upperworld in the stead of their reflection. Within its depths he noticed the boys Damien had associated himself with when they pushed the first domino into place, putting these terrible events into action. He scowled.

"**Half of your friends would attend before they ever knew  
****Why they are going  
****To this party I'm throwing."**

The angry singing blond smiled in vicious irony at the ignorance of the humans Damien's charm always seemed to attract.

"**They would be thinking that I would be pleading to you  
****To get back together-  
****Well how about never?"**

Then, Pip only had eyes for his victim as he sang, **"You're gonna miss me bad- so funny I had to laugh; you did this to you. Yeah, you did!**

"**Congratulations, you've graduated,  
****You've finally earned your degree  
****In your last separation from me."**

The vengeful British blond nearly choked in surprise and fear- seeing an emotionless expression on the part of the Antichrist was _never_ a favorable sign for its recipient. Nevertheless, he finished what he had to say, and was almost proud when his voice didn't quake.

"**Congratulations, you've graduated  
****To being alone, by yourself;  
****Let me throw you a parting farewell;  
****Farewell, farewell, farewell, farewell, well, well, well."**

He blinked back hot salt water before it had a chane to spill over, as his thoughts were bitterly filled with:

_**Congratulations, yeah, yeah, yeah.**_

Pip anxiously awaited Damien's response as the raven stood and turned his back.

_I hope I don't die all over again…_


	23. I Don't Love You

Damien couldn't believe his ears. He had been so sure Pip would tell him about the setup and that they would just move on. Maybe Pip _was_ too different from the child he had known in South Park Elementary, and maybe he had done too much (or too little) to the Brit to ensure the change would happen.

He continued to keep his back to the English blond in his room as he considered ways to formulate coherent sentences out of the storm raging through his mind and body. He was pissed- more than pissed. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure what he would do to the poor, damned soul behind him if he turned to face him. Then, he heard Pip begin to speak.

"Well," the Brit said, his voice wavering in pathetically hidden anxiety, "if you're not going to say anything, I see no point in dragging this out any longer. Good day, and I hope you don't take it too personally. After all, it's not as though you cared about _my_ feelings at Cartman's birthday party when we were eight years of age, or even at the school only weeks ago."

As Pip turned and began to walk to the door, Damien heard a voice.

"**Well, when you go  
****Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay."**

Damien could feel Pip's surprised freeze, his hand still clutching the previously grasped door handle. He continued, **"And maybe when you get back, I'll be off to find another way."**

The young Anti-Christ was so entirely enveloped in what he had been singing that he'd almost missed something moving down his face. At first, he hadn't been too alarmed- he'd assumed it had been blood from concentrating too hard. Then, when he reached up and noticed the transparency of the liquid, he'd been glad of his back being bared to Pip. The last thing he needed as the smirking satisfaction of the blond getting the reaction he'd been searching for.

**"Well, after all this time that you still owe  
****You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know."**

Time to fake it.

**"So take your gloves and get out-  
****Better get out while you can."**

He turned around.

**"When you go would you even turn to say,  
'I don't love you like I did yesterday.'"**

He noticed Pip had turned from the door as well, appraising Damien with one eyebrow raised and a predominately blank, yet ultimately bored, expression on his face. "Is that quite all, Damien? I really must be going." He told the hellish prince smoothly and with little emotion.

"Oh, please," Damien snapped. "The door is open for you, and I would highly advise you to leave through it as quickly as possible right away; we don't want you burning alive for the rest of eternity, do we?" He sneered.

Pip returned the expression. "I'd send a typical farewell such as 'see you later' or something of the like, but neither of us would like to see it through, would we?"

"Of course." Damien countered softly but the other had no problems in hearing the malice within the words. The British gentleman left without another word to his new ex.

_**Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading;  
**__**So sick and tired of all the needless beating.**_

'Not that he would care.' The raven though bitterly. In fact, Pip would more than likely laugh or simply smirk at the gesture… that is, assuming the Englishman would expend the effort of his mirth on the former. He sighed. He probably deserved it though. He didn't care to count how many nights he'd spent sleeplessly flinching at his previous treatment of his former lover. But it was all in the past.

_**But, baby when they knock you down and out-  
**__**It's where you ought to stay.**_

Damien had his chances with the blond and had fucked every one of them up. Was it really any wonder why Pip had teamed and schemed with Kenny the way he had?

Kenny. The air around the angry youth stung and cracked in the flammable rage exuded by him. He dared to force his way into his relationship? Damien would see to it personally that the American playboy's next visit to Hell would be that least pleasant experience the fiery furnace had ever recorded.

_**Well, after all the blood that you still owe  
**__**Another dollars just another blow.  
**__**So fix your eyes and get up;  
**__**You better get up while you can.**_

Damien took a breath to calm some of his nerves, and opened the door to take a walk among the kingdom. As soon as he crossed the threshold to the outside world around him, however, he noticed the blonds, the objects of his current state, deep in conversation with one another. He turned as the sight cut new wounds in his chest and salt water cut new trails on his cheeks.

He needed to be alone.

As he turned and trekked back inside, the slam of his door still unnoticed by the two outside, he finished his earlier statements to Pip. He felt all of his frustrations at Pip and Kenny, Jesus for telling him in the first place, and finally his own actions that caused the other cruel dominoes to topple over bubble up and he screamed to Hell, Heaven and Earth his anger and sorrow.

**"When you go would you have the guts to say,**  
**'I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.'**  
**"Oh, I don't love you**  
**Like I loved you yesterday!"**

His voice cracked.


	24. I Know the Truth Pt 2

_**Why do I want him still?  
**__**Why, when there's nothing there?**_

A week had passed and with it so did Kenny's visit to Hell- Damien was sure he'd return within the next few days, however. His father pleaded with him to talk to Pip, so they could possibly remain friends and his son wouldn't be so depressed. Damien had retorted by bitterly reminding him of his past relationships with Saddam and Chris, respectively. Had he felt guilty afterward? Of course, but his pride had been too much to allow him to apologize to Satan- there was a reason it was a Deadly Sin.

Pip seemed fine with the breakup but what else had he expected? For the Brit to come to his doorstep crying and begging for forgiveness and reconciliation? They'd gone through that song and dance already just with slightly different roles.

_**How to go on with the rest of my life-  
**__**To pretend I don't care?**_

Of course, his duties as anti-Christ still continued per usual- someone had to see to the damned souls every day. There had once been a time when he had been known for being thorough and devoted to his job. Now, however, it seemed as though every thought, every action, every moan, every scream made him think of Pip and that was too much to bear at the moment.

_**This should have been my time-  
**__**It's over, it never began.**_

It was over now though- had been for a few days, which was plenty of time to get over bad feelings in his usual relationships. But, he reminded himself, this was no ordinary person he was thinking about- it was Phillip "Pip" Pirrip, someone accustomed to getting burned by others and eventually cutting those same people from his life. Damien liked to think that the more time spent away the now angry teenager, the more he'd learn about both personalities and thought processes.

The young man heaved yet another sigh- an activity he was becoming all-too-familiar with as of late. He knew that if he'd treated Pip like a friend from the beginning, instead of betraying him for boys in their South Park classes who'd already forgotten the two existed, then he wouldn't be feeling as though he had a heart or soul ripping in two. But he supposed nothing he could do now could make a difference to the other. Hell, he'd done everything right during their courtship (according to those dating books he _borrowed_ from his father), and it still hadn't helped.

But he digressed.

_**I closed my eyes to so much for so long  
**__**And I no longer can.**_

Damien had only wanted a second chance with Pip, however, he should have known he wouldn't get one. He was a demon- an expert in the field of "That Which Sounds Like It's Too Good to Be True, _Always _Is." But he'd believed the lie anyway, and for everything- the reason they'd first stopped being friends, the suicide of the blonde Englishman, the lies thereafter, the heartbreak experienced- all of it had been his own fault. Pip couldn't be blamed for conning a con artist because he simply should've seen it coming. Not that Pip had any reason for believing in Damien this time, nor did he have any reason for being the one to trust in their former relationship.

_**I tried to blame it on fortune;  
**__**Some kind of shift in my fate,**_

Damien had taken the bait, not because he was stupid, or because he wanted to torture Pip further, but because he'd believed he could change for the Brit and gain his trust and forgiveness. Looking back, he couldn't fathom why that particular thought had ever crossed his mind.

"Argh!" The throaty scream ripped itself from the spirit in front of him. The blade had cut deep into the flesh, past muscle and tissue, straight to the bone. The anti-Christ shifted it up and down, left and right, doing a morbid kind of "tickle" to the bone underneath. As the thrill of blood spraying across his face raced deep within his body, Damien knew he could never change from the person, the _monster_, that he was and Pip was better off without him around anyway.

_**But I know the truth and it haunts me-  
**__**I learned it a little too late.**_

Kenny rarely made and executed plans on his own, but Damien felt no vengeance toward him or the person or persons responsible for Pip's changed behavior. It was all over now anyway- no use crying over milk that hadn't been his to spill in the first place. If anyone had asked the anti-Christ only a couple of weeks before if Pip had been capable of a scheme of this nature the response would have been swift and stern. But Pip was capable, of this and being independent from Damien- the raven simply had to let the other go.

_**Oh, I know the truth and it mocks me,  
**__**I know the truth and it shocks me-  
**__**I learned it a little too late.**_

There was no flying back to Damien's arms when the time was right, no lost love returning if it was meant to be, but that was fine. If Pip was happier this way, more content, Damien may not be able to feel those same emotions, but he at least pretend to be happy for Pip's sake. He just hoped his own weaker impressions on the matter wouldn't show through if ever the Englishman decided to speak with him again.

_**Too late.**_


	25. Little House

Kenny made his way up the walkway to the steps of Butters' house. It'd been weeks- a month or so, maybe?- since Pip's funeral, and the two had become unlikely allies and friends. At first, his parents didn't want Kenny coming around, but once they'd witnessed Butters' spirits starting to lift, Mrs. Stotch suggested they allow it and Mr. Stotch begrudgingly agreed. He rapped on the door and waited patiently for an answer of his abuse to the wooden plank. After a few moments and a soft and muted cry of, "I'll answer it!" Kenny found himself staring into the slightly nervous but generally pleased cerulean blues of Butters Stotch- he couldn't help back grin back at him.

"Hey, Butters," he greeted and walked into the kitchen to notice two steaming mugs of dark but translucent liquid on the table. Apple cider- Butters was so cute.

**She doesn't look, she doesn't see,**

**Opens up for nobody-**

"What's all this, Flower Bud? Are we moving to café dates now?" Winking as he sat down, he laughed heartily at Butters' wide eyes and attempt to splutter a response to the tease he would've never seen coming if it had been a freight train.

"N-no! I-I mean… th-th-that wasn't my… not that I d-don't um…." He looked utterly helpless and adorable, so Kenny couldn't hide the chuckle that left him while he shook his head.

"It's okay, Butters- it was just a joke."

Kenny greedily drank in the sight Butters then offered before him. A desert rose-colored tinting to his cheeks. Two blue eyes dancing back and forth on the floor swiftly- as if their very survival depended upon it. A pink tongue gracefully straining to do more than stumble over incoherent words. There was no one on earth more beautiful to Kenny than Butters Stotch- not that he could ever come out with it forthright. No; he'd be the laughing stock of their class, of the entire town of South Park. He knew if he loved Butters as much as he thought he did, then to hell with what the others thought, right? He should be courting Butters here and now. But unfortunately, he wasn't ready to let go of his reputation yet. So he fucked everything else that moved in a vain attempt to get his "friend" off his mind. He only spent less time than he'd like with the other and hoped it would suffice to fill the emptiness he felt when the two were apart, but it never did.

**Figures out, she figures out.**

**Narrow line she can't decide;**

**Everything short of suicide-**

Finally, Butters snapped up to look at the impoverished blond with a new light, as if he remembered something he'd wanted to ask. "Oh, y-yes, Kenny," he begins eagerly, "how's everything with Pip?"

Kenny felt the little bird of hope that had been created in his stomach drop at the mention of someone else. _Of course he'd want to know about Pip,_ he mentally scolded himself, _he was one of the only ones in all of South Park to treat Butters with a little humanity and dignity. Besides, that's what Butters asked for your help for anyway. Don't kid yourself and you won't hurt yourself. _He forced a cocky, lopsided grin and told Butters what had happened so far.

"**Never hurts," nearly works.**

**Something is scratching its way out;**

**Something you want to forget about.**

"Don't worry Butters- he made the right choice." He assured his love when concern had marred his features. It was the same feeling Kenny himself had experienced when he'd discovered Pip had had doubts. "I reminded him of what Damien had truly been to him, what brought him there in the first place, why he'd done what he had. And you know what Bud'? He set himself into a new determination- there's nothing that kid can't, or won't, do for himself anymore.

"And it's all thanks to you Buttercream. You made him see what he's really made of, what he's capable of. You're a true friend to him." And he allowed himself a genuine smile as Butters own mouth broke into one.

"**A part of you that will never show-**

**You're the only one that will ever know."**

Kenny surreptitiously glanced at Butters while the other was busying himself happily about the domestic room. He figured now was a good a time as any, with Butters' cheerful mood, to bring up the now-gone friend's life prior to its end. "You know Butters, Pip held a lot of demons hidden within him if he could do something like that. He might've followed through with it even without Damien's push in that direction…." He noticed the way the other tensed at his words, as though he didn't want to so much as think about having a conversation like this one.

"W-what do you mean, Kenny?" Butters asked this with a slight tilt of his blond head, something completely in-character for someone like him, but Kenny didn't miss the slight undertone of steel warning him not to imply Damien was not to blame. Neither one wanted to ruminate on the fact they might not have been totally innocent in this scenario either. Whenever Pip was teased or publicly humiliated, they'd each joined the "fun" or turned a blind eye.

"All I'm saying is that it usually takes more than one person to make someone take actions that drastic. It might even have been farther back than when he lived here in South Park.

"**Take it back to when it all began;**

**Take your time, will you understand **

**What it's all about;**

**What it's all about?"**

Butters cocked his head again, this time from his inherent curiosity, and Kenny found that the other could do, or at least _was_ doing, little to hide this from him. The one from the poorest family in town continued his thoughts on what appeared to be the end of "Dip" and how everyone involved would be much better for it.

A few hours passed and Kenny vowed to Butters that they'd meet up again within the week, provided the former didn't make an unplanned trip down below. He gave the second a small brush of the lips to his flushed cheeks and smiled as soon as he turned around. "See ya, B!" And with that, he scampered off and whistled a happy tune while he made his way down the street.

**Something is scratching its way out;**

**Something you want to forget about.**

He honestly wanted to see Pip succeed in the long run- he may have started on this mission on behalf of Butters, but the more he thought about it, the more he was beginning to believe that not only did Pip have the capability to move on, but he also had the responsibility to do so.

**No one expects you to get up**

**All on your own with no one around.**

Pip could win.


	26. Littlest Things

At the same time Kenny was discussing Pip with Butters, said blonde was strolling around one of Hell's many Fire Parks and reviewing the past few weeks he used to share with a certain anti-Christ. The good memories outweighed the bad in that there were many more of them, however, Pip didn't fail to also remember how blackened the other spots in their relationship were. He hadn't forgotten when he first befriended the raven and how all it had really gotten him was a few good days and demons taking him from behind- quite thoroughly. Or when they'd seen each other again and… well, everyone knew how that story had ended.

**Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing,  
****Especially when I have to watch other people kissing.**

_But that wasn't where it ended- not really_, Pip thought to himself bitterly, as he noticed an entangled couple only feet away from the path he was walking on; he honestly couldn't tell where one finished and the other began. He cleared his throat quickly when they noticed him staring, and the blonde continued on his way with his head ducked in shame.

As he went, his memories filled themselves with the scenes of their now severed relationship. When Damien would take him up to Earth for an hour or two, just so they could watch the sunset and then the stars- not that the anti-Christ would ever admit to it aloud. He recalled the times the slightly taller boy would crawl into the bed of his make-shift room, and they talk for hours amongst other… things. But he supposed it was all in the past now. He _was_ the one that terminated their relationship after all. He could never ignore that fact whenever it reared its ugly head- it would always be there no matter what he tried to do to get rid of it.

**And I remember when you started calling me your "Mrs."  
****All the play fighting, all the flirtatious disses.**

Everything he passed on his way back to his room reminded him of Hell's small Prince. Every nook and cranny suddenly resembled the moments they shared, the very fire of their relationship, Damien himself. He hated being apart from the other, but he had to teach him that lesson, didn't he? Damien would've have gone through eternity, literally, thinking that Pip had forgiven him much easier than he'd have thought or even deserved. But that didn't mean those weeks they'd been together again hadn't been enjoyable- they had been some of the best of the young Brit's life, well, afterlife anyway.

**I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood-  
****I don't know why I trusted you but I knew that I could.**

He had able to trust Damien with anything during those precious few weeks. They talked about his sister, Mrs. Joe, Miss Havisham, Estella, even the fact that Herbert was still in England and they could no longer interact. About growing up under the tutelage of a blacksmith until he was told about his wealthy benefactor, about cutting out nearly everyone who had been his friends before he had money, about having to beg their forgiveness years later.

They had laughed and joked, and shared secrets and cried, though the latter had mostly been Pip, but Damien wasn't exactly dry-eyed either. But nearly every moment had been spent each other. Well, every one that hadn't been spent working or talking to the Prince of Darkness himself- they did their best to be independent and live their own "lives" too. That being said, the times they did spend together was some of the best time spent Pip had ever known.

**We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt;  
****I was just so happy in your boxers and your T-shirt.**

Those times were the greatest. Everything the two had loathed about living on Earth had been better when they were together "down under." And the moments Pip spent with Damien had been like a never-ending teen movie- the latter seemed to have practically worshipped the ground he'd walked on to gain forgiveness. And he'd given it up for what? Some silly move that hadn't even been his own plan to begin with?

**Drinking tea in bed and watching DVDs  
****When I discovered all your dirty, grotty magazines.  
****You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers  
****As if we ever needed anything to entertain us.**

But, he supposed, he never would've gotten close to Damien again if it hadn't been for that little game in the first place.

Poor Damien. He couldn't imagine the pain the other was going through. He'd been absolutely horrible; at least when Damien decided to be a dick and turn on him, it hadn't been in his plans all along. How could anyone purposely date someone just to tear them down later? Pip believed he belonged in Hell, maybe even Purgatory itself.

**The first time that you introduced me to your friends  
****And you could tell that I saw nervous, so you held my hand.**

There had been many times during Damien's "last chance" that he'd shown Pip what a sweetheart he could be. Every time they came across anyone, the black-haired teen introduced Pip as his boyfriend. Of course, the blonde hadn't agreed during the few times some poor soul had hit on him, that Damien was quick to make them understand to whom Pip belonged.

**When I was feeling down, you made that face you do;  
****There's no one in the world that could replace you.**

But like he said- those days were gone now, because of what he did. And there was no bringing them back.

**Dreams, dreams  
****Of when we had just started things-  
****Dreams of you and me.**

Every night he saw his face, every night he heard his voice, whispering things he loved to hear when they were together and even more now that they weren't. Every night he dreamt about that day he broke Damien's heart, the neutrality of his face, the emptiness of his voice. Every night he prayed to a God that could no longer hear him, hoping the nightmares would cease, but he knew better than that. He knew this punishment, this Hell, was his own personal damnation, and he had no one to blame for it but Phillip Pirrip.

**It seems, it seems  
****That I can't shake those memories.  
****I wonder if you have the same dreams too?**

He would never be free from his torment, and deep down, he didn't want to be. If this was anything close to what Damien was feeling, he didn't want to experience happiness. Regardless of how "emo" it might have sounded, how fruity it may have seemed, it was how he felt. He broke the anti-Christ's heart and even though Christians everywhere on Earth were possibly rooting for him, he harbored nothing but guilt and disdain for his actions.

He may be a whiny little bitch, but he should be Damien's bitch right now.

**The littlest things that take me there,  
****I know it sounds lame but it's so true.  
****I know it's not right but it seems unfair-  
****That things are reminding me of you.**

Why did he listen to Kenny? What did Kenny ever do for him before he died? And Pip wasn't stupid, he knew the American couldn't have come up with that scheme on his own. He had to have had help from someone else, most likely someone who was up above on Earth, and Kenny was serving their purposes. But who could have that much power over the other? Cartman? No- Kenny may listen to him from time to time, but he hardly served as the poor blonde's lord. Besides, Cartman was probably still laughing his ass off about what had transpired. Maybe it was someone else…. Someone who had spent more time with Pip, developed a friendship, a kinship, and was sadder to see him go than anyone else would have been.

Maybe it was someone with a stutter and a slight lisp behind their accent…?

**Sometimes I wish we could just pretend,  
****Even if only for one weekend,  
****So come on, tell me:**

He had to talk to Damien; perhaps he could set the record straight. Maybe even ease the fault weighing on his conscious a bit. He doubted the other would ever talk to him for the rest of their eternities, much less take him back, but if he could give the raven his side of things, perhaps it would be a start.

**Is this the end…?**


	27. Irvine

Damien for the third time since Pip's "solution" felt the urge to speak to God. He went along the pathway to Heaven his father had told him about, all thoughts centering on the big guy… hippo-cat… thing… and Pip. He remembered that Christ was the one who had told about Kenny and Pip's plans- he wondered if he'd see him during his walk.

**Are You there?  
****Are You watching me  
****As I lie here on this floor?**

His heart felt as though it was some peculiar combination of ice, absence, and fond memories. It was all very confusing for the anti-Christ, but he knew there was at least one man who knew what it was like to have someone you love deceive you. To have some you love, deny you. To have someone you love, betray you.

**They say You feel what I do-  
****They say You're here every moment.**

Souls on Earth and souls in Hell were constantly crying out to Jesus, but the ones who truly understood what he had been endeavoring to teach during his earthly reign could be counted on one hand and still have fingers left. That was okay- those people either came to his kingdom for eternity, or were reincarnated to try again depending almost entirely upon their character. But Damien had been born for a specific purpose that had not yet been fulfilled, and he'd never know what Heaven was like- only his dad and the other fallen angels could visit with God's permission; he was only a demon.

That didn't mean he didn't have a heart or emotions- he was born of a human mother as well after all. People who dealt with religion on a regular basis, however, conveniently forgot to mention this or skirted around it whenever they spoke of him and the impending war. The same could be said about his attempts to be a normal child growing up on Earth- being a constant new kid didn't help his anger issues. He just needed to know he had someone's support. Just one person and he'd be contented enough to leave the rest alone.

**Will You stay,  
****Stay 'til the darkness leaves?  
****Stay here with me.**

But he knew he wasn't allowed to have that luxury- how else was he to have enough rage to bring on the Apocalypse? How else was he supposed to ultimately be defeated to by the greatest power either realm had ever known? Damien and his followers may be many things, but they were hardly stupid. Nevertheless, he wanted someone to count on for once. His father meant well, but he was always enveloped within his own wants and needs- Damien took the back burner with him more often than not.

**I know You're busy, I know I'm just one,  
****But You might be the only one who sees me;  
****The only one to save me.**

He didn't really blame his father though; he knew everyone needed their own time to themselves. And most of the time people didn't like him because of his treatment of others- he used the slash-and-burn method quite effectively. He pushed his way past the stars and planets up to the Gate that seemed to be more accurately described as a heavenly fortress. Saint Peter was there at the Gate of course. As soon as he saw Damien he fixed him with a look of suspicion, which the younger raven could only guess was on the behalf of his "butt-buddy" Jesus- Peter never liked the idea of Jesus having to fight Satan and Damien, but that hardly mattered. Peter was fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things except to showcase his brash behavior in the Holy Book, be God's head secretary, and Christ's bitch. Whatever.

"Hey," Damien barely nodded toward him as he made to move through the Gate. "I'm here to talk with the big guy."

He noticed the other straighten his stance even more than it had been, in some futile effort to intimidate him with his importance, and Damien had to smirk. "Your kind isn't allowed here," he reminded the boy, and this time it was Peter's turn for his lips to twitch as the teenager tensed slightly.

"No one asked for a denier's opinion." He replied through tight lips and gritted teeth. There it was- the rumpling of Peter's feathers and it was on. They argued for Heaven and Hell knew how long before God finally showed up to break the two apart.

"It's okay, Peter- he can enter." He said kindly, and Peter had the so-called "grace" to be shame-faced. "Come, Child; follow me." With that he turned and began to walk away to wherever it was he had come from. Damien didn't really appreciate being labeled as a child, somehow though he couldn't debate the term with the powerful being he was shadowing, whether it was respect for his rank or age or just because he didn't want to be destroyed on the spot it was true all the same.

"What can I help you with?" God asked once they'd reached his office. Damien had to hold back a cringe as he took in the decoration (whoever told him paisley walls and a brightly plaid-and-carpeted floor scheme was a good idea for any occasion needed to take a vacation- on Damien's rack). But Damien was here for a reason, and he didn't know how far God's patience really went; he definitely didn't want to push it.

"**Why is it so hard? Why can't You just take me?"** He figured it was best just to get straight to the point, right? But he thought that perhaps he moved a bit too quickly when the… thing in front of him widened It's eyes in admittedly slight surprise. Oh well- it was too late now. "I'm sure you're aware of the goings on in Hell lately as far as my relationship with one Pip, I mean Phillip, Pirrip as nothing escapes your notice."

"You'd be correct in thinking that." After a long pause in which God only stared, Damien felt compelled to continue the conversation.

"Care to comment at all?" He spat, growing even more annoyed the more God looked amused. "Okay, okay, I get it; I have to figure it out on my own. Sorry to have wasted your valuable time." He gave a mocking bow, not caring in the slightest for the consequences, and started for the door.

"Third hallway on the fortieth floor, turn left, seventh door on the right; you'll find what you're seeking." God, no pun intended here, he hated being around the souls in Heaven. They were irksome, and boring, and were apparently allergic to helping anyone directly. At least, those in Hell didn't screw your ass so hard.

**I don't have much to go  
****Before I fade completely.**

He found his destination, and rapped his knuckles lightly on the door. "Come in!" The soft sing-song reply came to him from the other side, and Damien braced himself, turning the knob and opening the marbled slab to reveal what lay ahead of him. Nothing could've prepared him for the sight of the Christ sitting on his bed with blindingly bright pearl and gold _everything_ around him. He was wearing khaki.

He shielded his eyes as he crossed the threshold. "What can I do for you, Damien?" The brunette in front of him gave him that damned kind smile. Damien felt as though if he saw that gesture one more time during his visit, he'd be sick- now he knew why it was the Mormons who made it in. He wasn't sure how to approach since the only times they'd had met face-to-face, Damien was either yelling about how great his father was, or Jesus had been to one to find him. He settled for a curt and awkward nod of acknowledgement.

"I'm sure you remember our last conversation?" He began slowly, once again carefully choosing his words so no one would guess how badly he was hurt by this whole mess. Jesus nodded, but gave no other indication for an answer, so the raven prince took another slightly shaky breath. "I feel as though my powers have deserted me in Pip's absence. As though I cannot properly do my job with him being around- I would like you to consider making an exception as you did years ago with McCormick."

**Can You feel how cold I am?  
****Do You cry as I do?**

He was sure the other in the room could hear the unspoken questions within his statements. Each had made it their job to know everything about one another and the prophecy they had to fulfill; there was respect for their respective powers. Not only that, but even though they were opposite in a sense, they also felt a certain similarity, a kinship if you will, in one another- they were nearly brothers after all. Besides, if there was one thing Jesus Christ prided himself on, it was the ability to see into someone's soul; their true intentions in their words and actions.

"You let him into Heaven even though he was originally staying in Hell. And keeps going there every once in a while, as I believe you already know. I want Pip to come here so I can focus on my work; I find him irritatingly distracting." Jesus's right eyebrow rose slightly- he knew how Damien felt about the British blonde they were discussing.

"Are you sure, Damien? It can't be undone once it has become so- you'll likely never see him again." Jesus spoke to him with a sad sort of tone his voice and a sighing light almost hidden in his eyes.

I'm sure," Damien said immediately and with virtually perfect air. "However, I would like to tell him myself- I need to discern whether he feels regret even as far as to whose level he sank to." And he could very nearly believe his words.

**Are You lonely up there all by Yourself,  
****Like I have felt all my life-  
****The only one to save mine?**

This time the sigh escaped from the Lamb's lips, and he said, "Very well, I'll let you speak to him before

we take him." Damien own mouth quirked slightly on one side- the closest he'd ever come to a "thank you" toward anyone. He left the room and took no notice as the man behind him qualified his statement. "But if you two decide to become friends again, all bets are off," he whispered with a small familial smile settling on his face.

"**How are You so strong?  
****What's it like to feel so free?"**

Damien sang as he left the Gate. He couldn't fathom caring about his enemies as much the Christ obviously did. Why was he always so willing to help the anti-Christ, someone he was supposed to hate and eventually try to destroy? Why would he take Pip without terms of his own? Damien didn't understand. Then again, he wasn't supposed to embody everything that was good and pure and Love. He signified evil, sinful natures, and Hatred- he wasn't supposed to understand heavenly _anything_.

**Your heart is really something-  
****Your love, a complete mystery to me.**

Once he made it back to his room, complete with locking and silencing spellwork and withcraft, he laid down on his carpet and thought about having to face Pip. What was he thinking? Pip wouldn't want to see him much less converse about everything that had happened. He must be much less intelligent then he'd earlier predicted. Nevertheless, he told Jesus he couldn't take Pip until everything had at least been attempted to be made better, so he had fulfill his end of the deal.

He could tell his father had been in here earlier, cleaning up, because of the scent still lingering on the floor. It comforted him a little, as it was something he'd grown up around and it would cling to his father's clothes when a chubby toddler would run up and embrace him many years ago. He inhaled profoundly and let the chemicals absorbed deep within his body, allowing them to roll over every part that felt as though the world was weighing him down.

**Are You there watching me  
****As I lie here on this floor?  
****Do You cry, do You cry with me,  
****Cry with me tonight?**

He wondered if the Christ followed him to this spot in whatever way they did up there. He wondered if he truly cared about Damien, or just wanted another subject to call his own? Maybe he was on Pip's side and now wanted to keep him as far from Damien as possible? One thing was certain: Damien had never felt more alone throughout the entirety of his existence, than he did at this very moment.

**Are You there?  
****Are You watching me…?**


	28. The Day We Fell Apart

Pip watched Damien for days after their breakup as the other tried his damnedest to pretend nothing had changed in him. But the blonde knew differently- they'd known each other long enough for him to be able to tell when Damien was upset behind a mask of neutrality. What Pip hadn't seen coming was feeling such bottomless guilt at being the one who broke him.

**What happened to the man who used to take me straight into misery?  
****I want you back and now I must admit it shames me- how could this be?**

All of his recent thoughts had been fixated upon the raven, and were split between the past, getting him back, and the future he could be missing out on. It wasn't as if he'd forgotten the bad experiences that had occurred between them, but he thought maybe if they talked about it, they could try again with more communication and working it out. That was how other relationships were supposed to work, right? Why had they thought they could be any different? Well actually, Damien had done his best to work everything out while they were dating, but Pip had been blinded by his broken heart. And before then Damien had wanted to be popular, all the while Pip was working for friendship between the two of them.

Why weren't they ever on the same freaking page?

**Tell me what's this desperation?  
**'**Cause I don't recognize these chains.  
****I think I made a bad mistake.**

He noticed the anti-Christ walking away from his macabre masterpiece, and saw his chance to approach. As he stepped closer, he had to concentrate on keeping his breathing as even as possible- who knew how pissed Damien was still?

His target looked up from cleaning and sharpening the devices that would never be found in the land of the living, and fixed Pip with an expression of surprise and minor resentment. "What are you doing here?" he asked, in a voice that sounded like a hiss and a growl combined. Pip gulped.

**I must admit the grass looks so much greener on the other side.  
****Since you left I notice now I'm so much meaner- and it's something I think I like.**

"I wanted to talk about what's happened concerning us, Damien. Mind if I sit down?" He whispered, coming close to losing his nerve. Damien made a sweeping gesture with his hand and moved over a little so Pip could sit down beside him. "I feel terrible about how everything happened and I…" he swallowed and tried again, "I want you back."

The hellspawn's eyes widened slightly, but other than that he made no indication he'd heard what the Englishman had said at all. "Damien please look at me." He cringed when the other lifted his dead gaze to meet his own pleading one.

"**Tell me what's this desperation?  
**'**Cause I don't recognize this change.  
****I think I made a bad mistake."**

Damien now had something swimming in his obsidian orbs, and Pip took it as a sign to continue- a symbol for hope.

"**I made a bad mistake,  
****Used to pray for space.  
****Drown in you one more time  
****And mend my wicked ways."**

He felt another surge of hope when Damien smiled marginally at Pip's suggestion that he was holier than the Brit next to him. "I love you, Damien. I know I don't deserve your trust anymore but we both know that neither of us are completely innocent in the case that's been presented in our court.

**"'Cause once I ran away;  
****I loved you since the day,  
****The day I broke your heart."**

He wanted Damien to see the honesty in his eyes. He wanted him to hear the sincerity in his voice. He cautiously took one of boy's hands in his own, gazing at him, earnestly yearning for a second chance he knew he didn't warrant.

**"It's more than I could take-  
****I loved you since the day,  
****The day we fell apart."**

As Damien, the anti-Christ he had somehow, somewhere along the way fallen for stood up and motioned for Pip to do the same, he obeyed. But he wanted to say one more thing before let him Damien take over the conversation and make his decision.

"**Now everything is coming undone  
**'**Cause you are the chance I can't afford to waste;  
****I loved you since the day,  
****The day we fell apart."**

With his argument made, he took the pause to breathe and await Damien's judgment.


	29. Odi Et Amo

Damien smirked, saying "You're right Pip; I have no way of knowing whether you're lying to me or not. How am I ever to trust you again?" By the time he finished his question, he was glaring at the smaller boy in front of him.

**You told me that you loved me  
****And kissed me in the street.  
****I felt your arms around me  
****Like ground beneath my feet.**

"I believed you when you told me this song-and-dance before- how do I know this is any different?" He wanted to have confidence in Pip more than anything, but the memory of what the raven had turned him into kept his loving embrace at bay. The blonde Englishman seemed so crestfallen, it also reminded him of his intense pleas toward this blonde weeks ago. Which made him recall what happened next, and so the vicious cycle persisted.

"I admit to everything, Damien. But those were Kenny's words not mine- not until now. I made a mistake going against what my heart was telling me. I wanted to tell you everything, but Kenny showed up and from there I made nothing but horrible decisions." When Pip stopped, he was struggled catch his breath. "Please, you _have_ to believe me."

"**You promised me forever-  
****I wouldn't have to ask.  
****Your poems were so clever  
****I never saw your mask.**

"And I held onto every word, but what else should I have expected? Anyone who could possibly like me has to have a dark side somewhere, am I right? It's just a matter of finding it and bringing it out, I guess." He turned his head away stubbornly, sticking dogmatically to his side of this argument. He refused to let Pip know that the anti-Christ knew it was almost entirely his fault, just because Pip wanted revenge didn't mean he was totally to blame. Damien let him in after breaking his heart, making him kill himself; Pip was only doing the logical thing. And Damien would've done the same.

Pip looked on with an expression akin to helplessness, watching as the teenager in front of him twisted completely away from him. "Damien, please."

**You gave your heart so freely  
****I could not even see  
****It wasn't you who smiled right back at me.**

Damien glanced around his father's kingdom, taking in the scenery of souls wandering the spacious lands, hellhounds playing with one another, life going on blissfully ignorant to the torment the two young men. How could they know be so oblivious to their prince's feelings? That the love of his life couldn't be trusted and it was all because of him? That they were about to be separated forever?

"**Odi et amo, odi et amo  
****Meus carus hostilis."(****1)**

"I've arranged for you to be taken to Heaven. I can't concentrate with you here; I remember too much." He said sadly, facing Pip once more. The Brit's countenance became one of pure shock- his widened eyes, his jaw flapping up and down in an attempt to say something. "I know how much you wanted to be there; consider it one last good act of a friend."

"W-w-what do you mean 'last?'" the soul finally managed to stutter.

"I don't think we'll be seeing each other when you leave. My father can go up there with limited rights- he's a fallen angel. I, however, am born of Hell and Earth- I'm a demon and don't have such a luxury. But I want you to understand this Pip: I've already forgiven you. I may find it difficult to trust you again, but that shouldn't suggest I don't appreciate your situation at the time and your motives. I've never forgiven before, but I think it's fitting that the first person I forgave was the first person I met who was willing to be my friend."

"Damien, I don't want to go Heaven! Will you listen to me?" Pip was beginning to lose his usually docile temper. Hell's youngest prince seemed to answer him then, just not in the way Pip wanted or was expecting.

"**I'm not afraid of darkness  
That walks the city streets;  
****Betrayal is the one thing  
****That brings me to my knees."**

Pip let out a noise of frustration and started over towards his ex-boyfriend with clenched fists at his sides, while Damien continued, unaware.

"**I thought you were an angel  
****My rescue from this hell."**

When Pip got to his destination, he punched Damien so hard in the face that the bigger boy stumbled from the other. He looked up in visible astonishment as Pip panted with his efforts. "Listen here, you prick. Like I said before- I wasn't the only one to blame in this scenario.

"**But the Devil was an actor  
****Who played his part too well.**

"**You vanished in the shadows  
****And suddenly I knew  
****That I would give my life to be with you."**

Pip struck the other again in the shoulder for good measure. "Don't forget who it was that sent demons out of Hell to rape me when we were eight; eight, Damien! And still I willing to let you in when I saw you again- you were the one you walked through the door and didn't look back. And for your information, I loved you during our relationship, but Kenny- who I think wasn't acting on his own accord and good will- was the one who moved his plan. That's what it was- _his_ plan, _his_ idea."

Damien could only stare as Pip went on, unrelenting in his tirade. "It's fine if you don't trust me, I wouldn't either. But don't think for a second I'll let you get away with thinking you were some innocent saint in all of this!

"**Odi et amo, odi et amo  
****Meus carus hostilis.  
****Odi et amo, odi et amo-  
****Ego excuro vobis."(****2)**

Damien wasn't the only one to have picked up Latin while he was in Hell. The raven was quick to recover though, and defended his decision to let Pip be taken up to Heaven. After all, someone like Pip didn't belong in a place like Hell, or with a person like Damien.

"**I don't mean to leave it up to fate;  
****Love is just another side of hate."**

"Don't be archaic Damien. **It's flowing through my veins, it burns me from within- the line between the lover and enemy's grown thin.** I'm strong enough to make my own decisions and I don't want to be in Heaven- I'm not that person anymore." With that, Pip smiled at Damien, the kind of smile which the anti-Christ might have sliced away from someone else's face, but it looked rather cute on the blonde's.

"**Too late for this sinner to be saved,  
****You heart is the mystery I craved."**

But Damien only shook his head, still thinking Pip was too good for him, scheme or no scheme.

"**You're pushing me too far,  
****You're brought me to my knees  
****When pain becomes the pleasure,  
****And torture feels like bliss."**

Pip seized Damien's hand before the other could refuse, and gave a chaste kiss to his cheek. "We can make this work, Damien. We can do this." He sang for the last time as they walked toward Damien's room together.

"**Odi et amo, odi et amo  
****Meus carus hostilis."**

And Damien smiled to himself as he hoped for a different run this time around.

**Odi et amo, odi et amo  
****Ego excuro vobis.**

* * *

A/N: There it is- the last chapter to this story! I'm a little sad to see it all grown up, but it's better that's it's finished, right? Anyway, thanks for those of you who muddled through the bad grammar, Pip's suicide and mental breakdown, Damien's sweetness, and Kenny and Butters' inability to stay the hell out of other people's business. ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to read any of my other stories and fandoms, hopefully some are better than others. Over and out. And for those of you who may have been wondering what the choruses meant for this song, I provided translation I picked up somewhere.

(1) I hate and I love  
My beloved enemy.

(2) I hate and I love  
My beloved enemy.  
I hate and I love-  
I burn for you.


End file.
